<sub>I couldn't believe the nerve of him. Sure I hadn't explained to well when I left why I couldn't do it, but to actually think I'd use him for money. Christ, before that night I hadn't even wanted anything to do with him. Let alone even think about using him for his money. How stuck up did you have to get? Then again I was just as mad at myself for not sticking around and explaining.

A sigh left my lips as I ran a hand through my hair, not even listening to the science teacher upfront. I was hidden in the far left corner of the classroom, trying to hide myself from Jason Scott. I didn't want to look at him and see those green eyes. They already haunted me night and day, to see them in person, it would make everything so much worse. I was dressed nicely as usual, but nothing to make me stand out. I was wearing dark colours mostly. A pair of black knee length boots, a pair of fishnet tights, a faded blue denim skirt, a black belt with fake gold belt buckle, and a red top where the straps went around my arms leaving my shoulders bare. The shoulders Jason had kissed so softly. Damn. How had he gotten so far in so short of time? He was like poison. I had left my hair down, and refused to put any makeup on.

My pen tapped the pad of A4 lined paper beneath it, my left elbow on the desk whilst my left hand held my face up. I looked distant and fed up, and honestly I was. This was not how it was supposed to happen. I was normally always in control. After my parents' lack of control and realisim which had forced me into the situation I was now I had told myself I would be in control with everything else from now on. This thing with Jason though... I had no control over it. I couldn't fix it. I couldn't even understand it except knowing that I liked him. I REALLY liked him.

"Mr Jason Scott and Miss Angel Thomas. You'll be lab partners today. Mr Scott please join Angel at her desk."

I didn't even notice what the teacher had said until a second later. Oh crap. My head flew up, shock and no doubt fear in my blue eyes. We were going to disect a frog together? Oh this was not going to be fun. Considering his email he'd sent me late last night I knew he was not in a good mood with me. He had gotten his wires crossed, which honestly wasn't all my fault. My hands laid on the desk infront of me as I looked from the teacher to Jason, knowing this wasn't going to be as easy as slicing a frog in half. I watched as the teacher placed the dish with the frog in it infront of me, the tools already needed for today on the desk. I didn't notice the teacher as he finished setting lab partners and giving out frogs. I was too busy thinking of something to say to make this less awkward.

My black over the shoulder drawstring bag laid at my feet, the soft material of it brushing up against my boots. My gaze fell back onto the frog, noticing how gross and slimy it looked. Remind me again why I didn't excuse myself from this particular class? My pearly whites sank into my bottom lip as my blue eyes stared off into space, the direction it took was at the slimy green dead frog in the white dish infront of me. To my left was an empty chair at this two seater desk. The seat Jason would soon occupy. I hadn't seen him lately, or heard of him with any other girls as of late. I had heard of his meetings with Isabella and Brittany, but they were before me. Before... well before whatever we had felt the other night. When I felt him sit down beside me I opened my mouth, letting my lyrics fall from my full lips.

"I didn't use you. I'm not sure if you got my email, but I wouldn't use anyone from this school like that. What I am had nothing to do with that night. I felt something for you, and was scared I would be just a one night stand. Thats why I left, and I'm hurt you'd think I'd sleep with you just for your money. I may be desperate for cash, but I'd never do something like that to a fellow student."

I spoke in a low whisper so only he could hear, my gaze still on the frog. I didn't want to know what he was going to say now, or what he thought of me. He could honestly think what he wanted, at least I'd been able to explain. Even though it probably did nothing to heal this rift between us.

"Think what you want about me, but the girl you were with the other night was me. I wasn't acting, nor was I faking. Infact everything I told you that night was the complete truth. Why do you think I haven't dated for three or four years? I've been avoiding it. I don't want to end up dating some guy only to come into his dorm and find him with another woman, just to justify it as the same thing I was doing only without the money."

It wasn't everything. He still didn't know why I needed the money but I wasn't sure I was ready to divulge that bit of information yet. The last thing I needed was another guy to offer me his money. I didn't need anyone's money, nor did I need to rely on anyone. I was an independant woman and it would be a sign of weakness to have to have someone look after you, even though deep down I did want to be loved. Ironic huh?</sub>

<sub>It was understandable he had assumed what he did. I hadn't explained it very well at the time. I was just so scared that well my mind and my voice didn't quite connect properly. I didn't hold a grudge against him and yet I knew he'd probably still want nothing to do with me even after he knew the truth. Well almost the whole truth. A sigh left my lips as my blue eyes glanced over noticing he wasn't looking at me. Yep, I had ruined it. Then again had that been my subconcious motive? After all I didn't want to get hurt, and even though we could have something amazing was I willing to risk everything for it? My gaze fell back on the frog as he continued to poke it. I seriously should have brought a note to excuse me from this. After all cutting open an animal was wrong, dead or not. I didn't tell him not to poke it, after all I wasn't sure it was my place. So instead I let him do it, pushing my gaze back to the A4 lined pad of paper sitting infront of me. Luckily this pad had nothing on it to show he had been running through my mind since our night.

"Do you still feel something for me?"

I knew I really shouldn't ask him that but I had to know. Luckily Alexandria wasn't in this class. If she was she would have probably noticed the sexual tension between us. Damn. Alexandria. He already had someone. I couldn't take him away from her. That would be so wrong. Then again, if he doesn't want me then that would be easier. Something told me though that life wasn't going to make this easy on me.

"I'm getting out of the prositute business. Its screwing me up. It has been ever since I started it. I managed to get another job. Its only a step up from being a prostitute but at least I don't have to sleep with anyone."

It had been Josh's idea. He was such a great friend. Gosh, I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't insisted on being there for me all these years. I had tried to push him away but he would have none of it. Running a hand through my hair a small smile tugged at my lips as I thought of the equally stubborn Josh. He was a good friend but he couldn't give me everything I wanted no matter how much he wanted too. He couldn't be my lover as well, to be honest he was a man whore. He understood my problems better then anyone and I'd always owe him for sticking by me. I was glad I had confided in him, his idea of stripping had been a brain wave. Okay, so it wasn't that "honest" or "normal" but it was much better then what I was doing now. Maybe someday I'd get a job but for now all they wanted was qualifications which I just didn't have.

It had been right of me not to sleep with Jason that night. Even though it had caused a lot of heartache for both of us, I was relieved we were finally sorting it all out now though. I couldn't let someone I had feelings for think the wrong thing of me. His friends could think and say what they want, yes I had heard what they said and all the rumours going around, but when it came to Jason I needed him to remember me as the amazing girl he had met at the nightclub. I knew it was pretty selfish for my reasoning behind this but I just needed at least one guy, even if it never worked out for us, to have fancied me for who I was inside and not for what people said about me.

I had no idea how anyone found out, I hadn't even told Josh about what had happened, so how the hell it got out I had no idea. I knew Jason hadn't, after all it would have hurt his male pride from what he had assumed, but then who? It must have been someone at the club, or someone could have overheard her when she had told Jason she couldn't at the frat house. There was a lot of possibilities, but I guessed I'd never know. I wasn't sure I really wanted to know but then again the presents and cruel words people had been leaving me for the past three days had really hurt. I knew, or at least hoped, it would all blow over but it didn't seem to let up. I even had disgusting proposals from guys wanting to get a three way going. I couldn't go anywhere in this damn school without someone coming by and tormenting me for what I did. For four years I had managed to keep this a secret and in one wild night with Jason my secret had become public knowledge. There was no escape. I couldn't just leave school though. I had to finish my education so I could get a better job and continue to help pay for my family to survive back at home. My siblings were too young to work themselves so it was left to me and my parents. Not a good feeling. No one knew that side though and if they did they might have behaved better towards me, but I didn't want people to know. I didn't want anyone to know what a mess I had gotten myself into, I didn't want anyone's charity, and I didn't want to rely on anyone for the pure fact I had been taught it as a sign of weakness and that if I relied on them I would be opening myself up to them which in turn would let them be close enough to hurt me if they wanted too. Yes, I know, I'm very screwed up.

Yet when I was with Jason I wasn't. I felt like a normal teenage girl again. I felt like I was worth something, and god I loved how I had felt when he had showered my skin with kisses. My skin was begging for his touch again, those gorgeous emerald eyes of his appearing in my dreams both awake and asleep when I let my guard down. This was either an obsession or I was developing a very real crush on Mr Jason Scott.</sub>

<sub>Noticing he still wasn't looking at me I averted my gaze to the pad of paper, letting my eyes trace the lines in my mind. I really did manage to screw this up didn't I? I wasn't too surprised. I always managed to screw something up without meaning too. If I was given time I could come up with a very sensible, sometimes wise, and straight forward answer to anything. Something that anyone could understand. When I was put under unexpecting pressure nothing ever came out right, as Jason had witnessed. It always made sense in my head, but as we have probably already found out my head and someone else's isn't the same thing. Not everyone could understand what I said under pressure, infact I had yet to meet someone that did. I was unique.

My bright blue eyes only fell back on him as his first set of words flowed into my ears. He still liked me. Outside I looked calm, a happy smile on my lips, inside I was jumping up and down as well as screaming at the top of my lungs. Something I'd probably do on my bed when I got back to my dorm room. Out of habit my left hand ran through my flame red hair. I always did it when I was nervous or extremely flattered and shy. I couldn't help it, and I wasn't going to change either. Okay, now I had to say this just right...

"I feel something for you too."

Perfect. At least I hoped it was. I had only left him that night in fear of being a one night stand. I wouldn't have left if I didn't have feelings for him. Christ, I had just told Jason that I fancied him. I couldn't quite believe it. A week ago I had hated his guts, but a week ago I hadn't know him. I had thought I did, but honestly I hadn't. I had only known the rumours, and although most were probably true they weren't the real him. If you get what I mean. Thats the point when I realised the consequences of us getting together. He'd have to leave Alex, who'd probably hate her guts and make her life hell [then again she didn't know Alex], and then there was the school newspaper and the rumours. It would definately be tough for her, as well as Jason, but she knew somehow it would be worth it and they would get through it together. After all, as long as they were happy thats all that mattered, right?

When his second lot of vocals were released I tensed up slightly. It wasn't because of him, but the fact I had actually told and was now discussing what I did with another person. It definately showed how much I cared and trusted Jason to actually talk to him about it, even if I had blurted it out a few nights ago by mistake. I could have said nothing about it after that but no I wanted him to know the truth, and to get rid of that awful assumption. I couldn't bear him to hate me like that. I knew he'd offer something, but I just didn't do charity. I was very stubborn, especially when it came to that. Wierdly enough though I was almost considering hearing him out. He really was having an effect on me wasn't he?

"I don't have any qualifications, hence why I haven't got a normal job. Plus, its really important. The money I mean... Its not for me. I need it to keep..."

Was I seriously going to tell him?

"I just need a lot, and its hard to get enough money when I don't have any qualifications. I'm not a golddigger, its not for me. I send it all back home to my parents. I have four siblings, all in their teens, and both my parents have small dead end jobs. They don't earn enough to keep themselves let alone me and my siblings too. Thats why I'm so desperate. Thats why I sunk so low, and for so long."

I heaved a huge sigh, unable to quite believe I had told him all that. Head in my hands my blue eyes were closed as I bit my lip, the stress of my whole family's lives on my shoulders clear to see. I just needed him to understand. I didn't want anything from him. I knew he could make my family's lives so much better and easier with a blink of an eye if I let him, but I couldn't. Charity wasn't something I did. I had never relied on someone my entire life, and to be honest I wasn't sure I was ready too. I wanted too, and I trusted Jason, but to have to rely on someone? Could I really do that?

When his last set of words were released I couldn't help but let a smile fall on my lips as my hands let go of my head. My head turned to look at him, a sparkle in my bright blue eyes. He was such a bad boy. He was a sweetheart too.

"Oh really? Since when?"

I teased, definately a lot happier now Jason and I had sorted things out between us.</sub>

<sub>Ever since I had left him that night I had wondered how it would have been if I hadn't. He could be phenominal in my dreams, after all it was my dreams and I could do what I want, but in real life... I really wanted to know. I wanted to feel him inside me physically, and not just mentally as well as emotionally. I had always wondered what it would be like to actually have sex with someone and know it was way more then that. To know it wasn't just sex, but the connection between them. From what I had experienced before I left I could tell he was an amazing lover. It had been so hard to stop him from continuing that night. I had almost not done so and just let him have his way with me. I had grown so bored of faking groans and moans for the mens' egos. I wanted to do it for real.

To anyone else this pairing would seem incredibly stupid and out of character, but to me it made all the sense in the world. On the surface it did seem were so different, but deep down we shared some similarities. We used the opposite sex for our own gain and not to be true to them. Granted mine was for finanical isssues and he was just sport, but it was still something common between us. There were other things too. I'd be lieing if I wasn't a little scared about actually dating Jason. It was just a small little nagging thing about him possibly sleeping around whilst he was with me, but as I said it was so very small I didn't even notice. It was at the back of my head to be honest. I knew we had something between us, something more then lust, and it seemed neither of us wanted to give it up. It would be hard having the spotlight thrust on me at first because I had been invisable for so long, but around Jason I didn't even notice anyone else. After all, he and Josh were the only people that truly meant a lot to me although both in different ways of course.

My blue eyes looked into his as his sincere words were spoken, meeting my ears with such heart that I really couldn't deny what he was saying was true. I knew it was, but it was just hard taking that first step. I didn't want to end up as some clingy annoying person that - god forbid - Jason will come to hate. I wanted to always be me, independant and strong. I knew however I couldn't get out of this hole without a ladder, so maybe for just a one time thing I should accept someone's help. I wasn't sure I'd cut out for the medical profession, but I had done one shoot years ago for a birthday of mine. I had a girl best friend back then and she had given me the voucher for it. It was a one time thing and a freebie, but the photographer had said I was really good. I had however not taken it as serious. After all, me a model? I don't think so. Then again, it couldn't be that bad to try again? After all the worse they could say was no. I'd still be able to have a stripping job after it if I needed it, even though I wouldn't particularly want too since Jason didn't like it. I could understand his feelings for that, and wouldn't want him to feel like that.

"I did do one shoot once. Years ago actually. It was a freebie, but the photographer did say I was alright."

Wow, that was hard. I was actually accepting someone's help. Jason must be special. It did feel slightly better though, to know that there could be another corridor I could walk down instead of staying in this one. Besides if I was actually any good at modelling it could bring in more money which meant my family would be better off and I wouldn't have so much stress on my head. It could make my life easier, and it would definately get rid of the gossip about what I did. I knew what everyone thought about me, and although I didn't care what they said I'd love to be in an advert or fashion show, then to come back the next day and see all their shocked faces. It would be priceless. I wouldn't get a big head though, after all I was far too nice for that.

"Of course not. I just didn't realise as soon as your hand touched my elbow that I was all yours."

I teased back, a definate smile on my lips as my blue eyes took in every inch of his masculine face. It was like I hadn't seen him in years. I could feel the heat coming off each us, and if I hadn't been wearing so little clothes I probably would have taken something off. At that thought my mind wandered briefly back to the other night when I had been standing in the hallway, his lips brushing against my skin. I quickly forget those thoughts as the stench of the frog reminded me I was still in class. I'd have to continue that memory later in private. Either that or we could go from where we left off... Okay, I needed to concentrate on better thoughts. Like how the hell I am supposed to cut up this poor dead animal. Next time I need to pay more attention to the class schedule and letters they hand out to you. I had never really read any of them. It was only when I was searching for a certain top and the letter fell on top of it just two days earlier that I realised we were disecting a frog. By then it was too late to pull out. Then again, I wouldn't change me being here if I could. After all me and Jason had made a mends, which was a very good thing in my book.</sub>